It is hard to believe that just a week ago today, I was being admitted to the hospital to get my labor started. I was so anxious, nervous, and excited. I had so many questions running through my mind: When would I actually have my baby? How big would she be? Would I be able to have the vaginal birth I had hoped for? Could I really avoid having a surgery like so many of my friends? Will I be a good mom? Patrick and I got to the hospital on Tuesday 2/9 at 7:45pm. We signed in at the front and waited for my name to be called. Our nurse for the night, Tana came and got us from the waiting room and took us back to our birthing suite. She was really sweet and told me that I needed to get into the hospital gown and she would be back to hook me up to the monitors and my IV. I felt silly getting into the gown, mostly because it only tied at the top and left absolutely nothing to the imagination. I am so modest that before this I could say that there were only a hand full of people who had ever seen me naked (my doctor, my husband, God, and my parents although they hadn’t seen me that way in quite some time lol), but after all that I was about to go through, the open backed gown was the least of my worries. I came back into the room and got hooked up to a fetal monitor and a monitor for my contractions. This was my favorite part of delivery. The monitors were uncomfortable and a real pain to take to the bathroom, but this meant that I got to listen to my precious daughter’s heartbeat all night long! The nurse checked me to see if I had dilated any since my appointment with Dr. Tallent that morning, and I had progressed a whole centimeter.
She administered the Cytotec to get my cervix to soften up and dilate so that we could induce labor the following morning. Patrick read his book and I got out the laptop to post on my favorite message board to let them know how everything was going so far. Around 10:30 we started playing UNO and spent our last night together as a married couple with no children talking and reminiscing about the last 10 years we have spent together. After I beat him 11 games to 3 he decided he was ready to go to bed. I took a sleeping pill that the nurse gave me to help me relax and we both fell asleep.
Wednesday 2/10 morning around 1am the nurse came back with my second dose of Cytotec, checked me again and I went back to sleep. At 2am I was having some steady contractions and the nurse came to check on me to see if I would like some medicine in my IV to help take the edge off. I figured there was no reason for me to be in pain, if I didn’t have to be, so I had her administer the medicine and it let me sleep soundly until Dr. Tallent came in at 5 to check me again. I still wasn’t progressing, but was still having random contractions. They administered the Pitocin to get my contractions to increase in frequency and intensity, and left me to get some more sleep. The nurse came in at 8 and I had dilated to 3 cm and was in -1 position and about 50% effaced. Finally some real progress. My doctor came back in and broke my water, let me just say one of the weirdest feelings in the world, so that we could get things moving even faster, and then the nurse said that they could go ahead and administer my epidural. I got my first epidural at 9am. I had been shaking a lot, which was my body’s reaction to the pain of labor, and was really worried about having a needle stuck in my back while I couldn’t hold myself still. When the anesthesiologist’s assistant came in, I couldn’t help but laugh, he looked just like Patrick’s brother, and the thought of him seeing my backside mortified me. Like I said, this is something I was just going to have to get over. He and the anesthesiologist had me sit up and put my legs over the side of the bed while curving my spine. The nurse held my left hand and was telling me when my contractions were coming and helped me breathe through them. Patrick did something that totally surprised me though, he has a fear of needles and doesn’t really do well in medical situations, so much so he doesn’t even like to watch medical shows on TV, but he was there in my time of need. Patrick held my right hand, talked to me and told me what a great job I was doing. He stroked my hair and kissed my hand, and reassured me that I would be ok, and I knew I would be. Once the epidural had been administered it didn’t take very long for me to feel the effects. About twenty minutes later, I felt great. My contractions were like an ant crawling over your skin, I knew they were there but they didn’t hurt anymore. Patrick’s parents arrived at the hospital and we had them come back to the room while I was feeling ok, and we all sat and talked for a while. My parents arrived shortly after and came back too. At first I didn’t think that I wanted anyone in the birthing suite but Patrick, but I realized that these were the people that brought us into the world, and I wanted to spend time with them one last time as their babies, before we had our own baby. No one stayed during the delivery but Patrick, but while we were waiting I wanted our parents there. Patrick’s parents went with him to the cafeteria to eat lunch, and my parents stayed and talked to me. When Patrick came back I had started having some more pain. My epidural was only working on my right side. We buzzed the new nurse Monica and told her that I could feel the left side of my body. She was great. She came in talked to me, asked me about the pain, and immediately got in touch with the anesthesiologist to come back to give me some more medicine. They had me sit up and at this point I got really nauseated, and my shivers had gotten so bad that I couldn’t stop my teeth from chattering. I was expecting some shivering, but this felt like an earthquake was going through my body. I could barely sit up I hurt so badly, and then I had to vomit. Luckily I was only allowed ice chips after midnight the night before, so it wasn’t horrible, but still not very pleasant. After a few more minutes the anesthesiologist got there and administered a shot into the catheter in my back and said that this medicine was four times stronger than the initial dose and should make me feel completely numb. The only problem I had with the medication was that it was lowering my blood pressure, so the nurse had to administer epinephrine into my IV to keep it at a normal pressure. Patrick was by my right side talking me through the contractions and rubbing my arm, and my daddy was at my left side holding my hands, and rubbing them with his to get them warm again since my temperature had dropped when my BP did. My father and husband are amazing men, who in the most stressful of situations were able to put my mind at ease even though I was in so much pain I could barely breathe. About twenty minutes later the new medicine took effect and I was numb from my toes all the way up to my shoulders. I couldn’t even tell that I was touching my own side! This stuff was great! In the meantime, my nephews and sister had gotten to the hospital and were in the waiting room. I didn’t want them to see me in pain so I asked that they wait there until my medicine started working again and I could be more myself when they came back to see me. Around 1:30 I was feeling much better and my mom called the nurse and asked her to make sure that my nephews could come back. The hospital has a policy about children who are under the age of 14 visiting have to be new siblings, but after I explained to my wonderful nurse how close we were, and that they were like my own kids, she said that she would bend the rules since I had requested it. We really liked this nurse, she was so sweet, helpful, and kept saying that we were the nicest couple and that she was so glad to see two people who were so excited to have a baby. So at 2, my nephews were allowed back into our birthing suite. When they came in they both kissed me and asked how Sam and I were doing, if I was hurting, and if I was ready to have the baby yet. They were so concerned and excited about the birth of their new cousin. We all sat and talked for a while. My sister was telling labor stories and how easy both of hers were, and I did a mean thing and shot her a bird. Here I was laboring for a day, working on my second epidural, and fearing a c-section was in my future, and she was bragging about her hour long labor with her youngest son. Give me a break! It was all in good fun, but I meant it! At 3 Patrick and I asked that everyone leave the birthing suite and go to the waiting room to give us some time to relax together. He went and got me some more ice chips, something he had been doing all day long, and we talked about the baby, my fears about delivery, and again he reassured me that everything would work out the way it was supposed to. The nurse checked me to see if I had made any more progress, I was now dilated 7cm and in 0 position about 80% effaced. Then at 3:30 I started having awful pains and lots of pressure. My epidural had worked, but for some reason had worn off in a very important place, where Samantha’s head was pressed. The nurse called it a “hot spot” and said that sometimes there are just certain spots that the nerves don’t get the message from the medication that they are not supposed to hurt anymore. Unfortunately, with where my “hot spot” was, it made for very painful contractions, and again I started to shake, my blood pressure was dropping, and Samantha’s heart rate was a little lower than they would have liked. The nurse tried to sit me up, but my back was still numb from the shot earlier so I couldn’t do it. I got nauseated again, and Patrick stood there with a bed pan as I once again lost my ice chips. Just another thing I thought my husband couldn’t do when it comes to medical stuff, and for me he bore the burden. The nurse called the anesthesiologist again and continued to help me breathe through the contractions. Patrick stood by my bedside and rubbed my head and wiped my tears as I cried through the pain. I tried so hard to remember the breathing we had learned in our Child Birth classes but all I could do was breathe in my nose and grit my teeth as I breathed out my mouth. I kept my eyes shut the whole time; because as soon as I started to cry I could feel that Patrick was going to cry too, and I knew I couldn’t look him in the face because it would only make my heart ache too. He loves me so much and he couldn’t stand to see me in so much pain. At 4 the anesthesiologist came back in and administered a dose of a new medication and it also took effect in the next twenty minutes or so . My breathing became less labored, I stopped shaking as much, and I could open my eyes again. Then finally I was back to being numb again, and couldn’t even feel the worst of contractions. Patrick and I talked some more, and the nurse began to bring in some things that the doctor would need to deliver Samantha. I asked her what the plan was, and she told us that he would be in a little after 5 to check me and to see where we would go from there. Dr. Tallent came in and said that he was about to deliver the girl next door, and would check me to see how much further we had to go. I was fully effaced, 10 cm dilated, and Samantha was in the +3 position! This was it! It was time to start pushing. My doctor went next door and delivered his other patient and my nurse started prepping me to deliver. My nurse started getting some other stuff ready, and Patrick went to get me some more ice and to tell our parents what was going on before we started to push. When he came back, I told him to call the nurse. I had started to be able to feel my legs again; my epidural was wearing off for the third time. The nurse came back in and felt around to see how much I could feel. Luckily it was just my legs and my back at the time. We went ahead and started pushing, praying that my medicine would continue to work in the important places. Patrick stood by my right side and held my hand; I took in a deep breath and bore down pushing with all of my strength three times for each contraction. I started feeling lots of pressure. I could tell that Samantha was in the birth canal. That was when I knew I could have my baby the way I wanted to, but I also realized that my epidural was not going to last much longer. I pushed for about twenty minutes when the nurse stopped me. She said that I was getting really close to having my baby girl in my arms, but since the doctor was not finished next door we needed to wait out the next few contractions to give him some time to get in the delivery room. I could feel my baby moving, ready to get out, but we waited. Three long contractions later, I told them that I needed to push. My nurse said that the doctor had just delivered the patient next door, and would be right over, so I could start whenever I was ready. I took a deep breath and started pushing again, and the nurse said that she could see Samantha’s head! She asked Patrick if he wanted to see, and even though he said all along that he didn’t want to look, he changed his mind and looked down to see his daughters full head of hair. He looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said “she’s right there!” I pushed for another few contractions and Samantha was bearing down really hard, I could feel her everywhere, I knew that she would be here if I could just push hard enough. Then, Dr. Tallent came in the room and said that he was ready for me. After a few more pushes, he told me that he would give me five more hard pushes before he did anything like use the vacuum or do an episiotomy. I told him that was ok if it was best for Sam, and I started pushing again. By the third push, I felt so exhausted, had no energy left and the pressure and pain was so much more than I could have imagined. I cried and told Patrick, “She’s almost here” my excitement overwhelmed me. My epidural had officially run out and it was all up to me to get my baby out, no matter how much pain I was in. Patrick continued to stay by my side, but watched and videotaped our daughter being born. On push number 4 on 2/10/2010 at 6:29 pm my beautiful baby girl came into this world and cried. I cried and said, “is she ok?” Patrick reassured me that she was fine, and I told Patrick to take pictures; I needed lots of pictures. He took pictures that I had waited 40 weeks to take, and cut her umbilical cord. Then Dr. Tallent wiped her down and laid her on my belly. She was so perfect, and I was in love instantly! As the nurse picked her up to get her stats and Apgar score Patrick asked if I was ok, and I told him to go be with our daughter, that I needed more pictures so I wouldn’t miss anything. By this point I was so relieved, so thankful, so amazed that I had just given birth to our daughter. Then came the rough part, I delivered the placenta and everything was going well, but I had a 2nd degree tear. While it could have been much worse, I had to be stitched up with no epidural, and could feel the entire process. I told Dr. Tallent that I realized there was nothing that could be done, but that I needed him to know that I was in pain and lots of it. He told me he would do his best to finish quickly, but that he wanted to make sure to get all of the blood vessels tied off. I was shaking, smiling, and crying. I called out to Patrick and asked how much she weighed; he told me that they hadn’t gotten that far yet. Lol. Then he called out that she was 7lbs 10oz and 20 inches long with an 8.9 Apgar score. A perfectly healthy happy baby girl!
The nurse helped me to the bathroom, and I got cleaned up a little so that our family, who were waiting, could come in and see the new addition. We waited for a few minutes to call them in so that we could bask in the joy of our daughter’s arrival. I immediately nursed Samantha and she latched on like a champ. It felt so good to know that she still needed me so much, even though she wasn’t inside of me anymore. I got covered up and got as comfortable as I could while Patrick went and told our family that she had arrived. I know they were a little upset that we waited almost an hour to come and get them, but we just needed the time to gather our thoughts. They all came in and saw our baby girl and were so happy to see that she was so healthy. Our parents were so proud and it showed in their faces. My dad came over and kissed me on the forehead and told me how proud he was of me and that he loved me. Then they all grabbed our stuff so that we could be moved to our room on the postpartum floor. Patrick and I dropped Samantha off at the nursery so they could get her body temperature up and we went to our room to get settled in. Then Patrick went back to the nursery to give Sam her first bath. My family followed to get pictures and video so that I would be able to see it later. My dad stayed behind and made sure I was ok. Then the nurse brought Samantha back to the room and our family followed as we took more pictures. My oldest nephew was afraid to hold her because he didn’t want to hurt her, but he did after I asked him to do it for me for one picture. My parents ran to McDonalds and got Patrick a burger and me a chocolate milkshake. All day long I had said all I wanted was the biggest glass of ice water I could find and either a smoothie or a milkshake. Lol. All in all, everything was great. I was exhausted, sore, and had been through a lot, but we had our baby girl and nothing else mattered.
Over the next few days, it was pretty much a painful, exhausting blur. We had a lot of doctors, nurses, and visitors coming in and out. Our parents visited again, along with Patrick’s grandmother, and the pastor from our new church came by and prayed with us and gave us a prayer shawl that some of the women at the church had made. My friend Carolyn had come by to visit and was there for the prayer too, it made me feel good because I realized I do have family close by, even if there is no blood relation. I was in a lot of pain, but once I got the right medications I was feeling better, but still haven’t really had a decent night’s sleep.
I won’t lie, not everything has been perfect. Our first night home was one of the most trying nights of my life. Running on little sleep, and being in lots of pain is bad enough, but when your newborn baby is hungry and you don’t have any milk yet, it wears on a person’s emotions. Luckily the next day my milk came in, and throughout the weekend we had some amazing family come over and help out, while celebrating the birth of our new daughter and Valentine’s Day.
We had our first Pediatrician visit on Monday. Samantha is doing perfect, they ran another Billy Rubin test to double check for jaundice, and it came back normal. She also lost half an ounce since her discharge weight, but after a weight checkup today she has gained a whole ounce and is doing great since she is feeding more.
I know that this was incredibly long and it may take a couple of days to get through, but I wanted to share our experience with you, and hope that you have enjoyed the story of the birth of our daughter.
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Dear God,
We just want to thank you for everything that you do for us. Thank you so much for the birth of our beautiful and healthy daughter Samantha Noel, and thank you for taking care of me as I heal from her delivery. Please give us the strength to take care of her like she needs to be, even when it means that we are running on little to no sleep. Please continue to bless our family and to take care of our needs. Thank you so much for our wonderful family and friends who have been there to rejoice with us and have given us a shoulder to lean on. Please continue to let mine and Patrick’s love flourish and become even stronger so that we may show our daughter that she is the result of that love. Please give us the patience to get through this busy time and to realize when we need help and how to ask for it. Thank you again for everything you do for us.
AMEN
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